Is My College Application essay good enough?

My Rebirth

Looking back on the past five years of my life, I wonder how I ever came so far. How did that proud young Nazi, that staunch fascist and passion-led creature ever become the critical thinking feminist, cultural rebel, and amateur philosopher she is now? It may have begun in the invasion of Palestine in 1948, or even when my mother remarried, but the wheels were truly set in motion on August 23, 2006, the day my father died.
My parents had been an incongruous couple. My father, born in the mid-fifties to a protestant family of farmers, carefree and lighthearted, and my mother, a “beautiful exotic” as my paternal aunt called her, from Northwestern Africa, a devout Muslim, ambitious, passionate and always ready to vehemently contend with any who slighted her or voiced opinions contrary to her own. They were good for each other; they moderated each other, checking the other’s extreme tendencies.
My mother changed after his death; her scathing criticism intensified, her disdain for American culture turned into disgust and her political agenda turned extreme. Maybe it was the fact that after my father’s death his family cut ties with ours, or her inability to moderate herself, or some inner weakness within. Nonetheless, my father’s death marked my indoctrination into antisemitism and Islamic Fundamentalism.
Americans, my mother taught me, were selfish, promiscuous, fat, belligerent, stupid, and above all, irreligious. My father’s family was held as the prime example of American sinfulness. Their selfish individualism in abandoning us, Cousin Louise’s promiscuity with her illegitimate child, Cousin Cassie’s obesity, Uncle Joe’s aggressive foreign policy, Cousin Steven’s poor grades and work ethic, and their sinfully lenient approach to religion. Happy memories of my paternal family were slowly eroded by time, my mother’s lessons, and their absence. In time, I came to hate them as false devils that represented all evil in the world.
I worshiped my mother, her being the only person in the world that would die for me as she constantly reminded me. Her words were sacred truth. Jews were liars who invented the Holocaust to garner pity and invade Palestine, the only acceptable form of law was Islamic Sharia, women were meant to be obedient to men, and freedom of speech was the devil’s invention. I proudly brought her beliefs to school and accepted ostracism and loneliness to come home to her praise and welcoming arms. At twelve, I possessed the answers to all the great questions in life, needing only to ask my mother and I would be enlightened. It wasn’t until my mother’s remarriage that I would start questioning.
Her new husband was a chauvinist whom she slavishly obeyed. Suddenly I could no longer speak with my male friends, I was forbidden from listening to music, and my beloved art was destroyed. My mother disowned me when she learned I had called the authorities when her husband attempted to molest me. In the midst of my pain a single, rebellious thought occurred to me: my thoughts have value. The supernova of my mind was sparked by that single thought and from the dust I have been reborn an ignorant but pure individual. I do not regret the things I have experienced; otherwise I would never have changed. I have been unable to stop thinking: are my perceptions real? Can the individual exist without Society? Does anyone truly do good or evil sincerely? I don’t know these answers, along with many others, but I do know one thing: I will always pursue truth and there is no greater peace than the peace of truth.

Do you think this is good enough to get into Wellesley? I only have a 3.0 but I’ve always taken the most difficult classes and I got a perfect 800 on the reading section of the SAT and I’m the president of a philosphy club and a volunteer club.

College writing class argumentative essay: Should the gov. control the foods offered in schools?

Obesity in children is becoming a huge problem in our society today. The government is imposing specific laws to eliminate all fatty or sugar based foods (junk food!) in schools. For example; kids won’t be allowed to bring in cupcakes or cookies for their birthday treats anymore, etc. The cafeteria will not sell any type of sweets or fatty junk foods for lunch. Everything offered will be natural or fresh…no deep fried foods, pizza, ice-cream, candy bars, etc.
Do you think that the government should control this to help our kids learn about a healthier life style or should that be left up to the parent?

Is there any mistakes in this essay?? Please help me!?

Nowadays, junk food is gradually becoming a specific part of daily life and it is directly related to people’s health. Eating much of these foods causes obesity and premature death; especially foods with high fat, salt and sugar are harmful for children. However, some people argue that junk food is not the sole cause of health problems. In this essay, I intend to show that food manufacturers need to be forced to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food to prevent dangerous consequences.

To begin with, in this era, people have the freedom to choose what they want to buy or eat and what is good for their body. In fact; most people have understood the danger of eating too much junk food which contains high amount of fat, sugar and salt; so why should the food manufacturers be forced to lower the fat, sugar and salt? The government does not need to make the decision for the consumers who have the ability to make their own choices. Furthermore, reducing the fat, sugar and salt content in food will make the food become tasteless. Consequently, people would try to eat more to satisfy their desire. For example, people would eat more than a sausage if the salt and fat content has reduced because they are not satisfied with these tasteless sausages. Thus, forcing food manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food may induce people to eat more.

Unfortunately, eating excessive junk food can have serious negative effects on people, young or old alike. In fact, the most common health problem is children being overweight resulting from taking excessive junk food. Currently, 17 percent of children in the world are obese. Many children like to eat processed, fatty and sweet foods nowadays such as chips, pies and candies. Children cannot stop eating these foods if they once get addicted to high sugar. Moreover, sugary drinks such as soft drinks are other causes of obesity. They are high in calories and contribute to weight problems. Therefore, forcing manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food is necessary.

More seriously, eating junk food is also one of the main contributing factors to the development of cancer. The body desires and needs certain vitamins and minerals to function properly. But, when you eat a poor diet with all kinds of junk food, you severely impair the body’s ability to fight off toxins and diseased cells. As a result, those cells can become cancerous. Furthermore, having unhealthy food causes premature deaths. People die too early these days because of poor nutrition, such as take away foods. Sooner or later food manufacturers have to be forced to lower the fat, sugar and salt in food to prevent cancer and unfortunate premature deaths.

All things considered, I am convinced that the government should force food manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food. The consumer, however, should learn to form healthy eating habits for life. If they do this, this confusion will come to an end.

I need help with my English essay ?

Value of Video Games

When I was the age of eight I got my first video game. I was hooked with the game so much that it became a big influence in my life. Everyday at lunch my friends and I would act out the characters of the games. This helped me develop my imagination because I was constantly thinking of about the games that I played. Video games actually got me into fantasy. This led to Harry Potter, which then eventually led to other books. Video games helped me in many ways and have been a huge influence on me when I was younger.

Video games can have the same amount of value as a movie or book. Most people stereotype video games as violent and addictive but that is not the case. Just as there are movies with morale messages and movies with nothing but action, there are video games with depth and video games with only blood and gore. This is what academics at London University’s institute of education have to say

Far from being an obesity-inducing, violence-promoting threat to society, as they are often portrayed, the games being played in bedrooms across the country during half term can be used in the classroom to help children learn concepts such as critical appreciation of narrative structure or character development which they might otherwise study in a novel… (Lucy Ward guardian.co.uk article http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2004/oct/27/schools.elearning)

Researchers, who presented their findings at a seminar in London last night, believe games deserve to be treated by schools with the same seriousness as books and films. Andrew Burn, the associate director of the children, youth and media centre, said: “Games are a cultural form that is just beginning to evolve and the evidence is they can be every bit as rich and complex and nuanced as a book or a film.”
(Lucy Ward guardian.co.uk article http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2004/oct/27/schools.elearning)

Children would be the part of our society that would be largely influenced by video games. They can get some math skills and reading skills out of video games which would help them in school. There are people who would say that video games at a young age will make children less focused and have a negative effect for them in school, and make them more violent, but it would be the other way around. Since children are influenced more easily then teenagers wouldn’t it make sense that educational video games could benefit children much more then it will a thirteen year old boy? Children are the part of our society that can benefit the most from video games. They are also the ones that are exceptionally influenced by video games just as much as TV or other forms of media can easily affect children.

There is also a major flaw in what parents can do and don’t do that can positively or negatively affect a child. Most parents do check the ESRB rating on the video game to see if it is appropriate for children to play, however most parents neglect to check the description on the back that might have given a game that rating. The rating is more of a guideline then a rule. Parents should check to see if the game would be appropriate for their child not by a letter on the box but by the description, because the ratings they give are not always correct. Some video games could have gotten a lower rating but others could have gotten a higher rating. There is also the rating E 10+ which people don’t see and treat it like an E rated game. For example parents are more lenient on the Ec-T ratings and don’t give them much thought but would you let a 13 year old play an M rated game? Then why would you let a 6 year old play an E 10+ game? This is what leads children to say such things as “I will frag you!” and “OWNED!”

Video games can also be very useful to older people as well. Brain age can keep your mind sharp, and can keep your brain functioning properly. They can also keep your reflexes in good shape as well because you would have to think fast in these games. Children are not the only people that can get something out of video games. Older people around the age of 65 plus can get use out of video games as well. Just the same way playing a piano can keep your mind sharp playing a video game can keep your mind sharp as well.

1UP: This is actually a game I would honestly buy a DS and the game and give them to my parents. They’re always doing the crossword puzzle, always doing the crap in the newspaper, they don’t play video games. But this is something I think they could get into and it’s non-stop, because there’s so much they can actually do with the memorization. Following this theme, Brain Age has been hugely successful in Japan, and marketed to an older audience, which is probably a big reason for part of its success. Are you planning on targeting a wider audience in the U.S. as well? Like, old people?
Matt: The answer is yes. Whereas if you took a Metroid, we would n

and here is da second part….plz help….?

heres the second part of the essay…plz help…suggestions will be taken into consideration…corrections….thanks

If fast food chains were to be banned, people still have the option of buying junk and fatty foods from supermarkets, school and workplace canteens, milk bars, vending machines, restaurants, convenient stores and many other places. Alternatively, they could just buy the ingredients needed for the recipe and make a fatty cheeseburger and chips at home. So banning fast food chains has no affect on obesity levels because people can still add a lot of oils and sugars to their foods at home. Especially homes with children, if the parents are not careful with what they feed their children, the children may be put at risk of developing obesity at a later stage in life. A child’s food decisions are highly influenced by what they see on television, in their homes, at school, in the media and by what they see as good food. Therefore, when the children are not around their parents or are at a place like school, they would be able to buy junk foods from the canteen. This is why it is so important for children to be educated about unhealthy foods and healthy foods at an early age to help them develop good eating habits. Consequently, people may already addicted to fast food and it may be difficult for them to avoid these foods, so they buy these foods at other stores that are not banned.

Prohibiting fast foods and fast food chains could increase the cravings of consumers who have already been addicted. People who try to quit smoking find it hard to give up the addictive substance, nicotine, so they just keep smoking because they are forcing themselves into thinking that they cannot have a smoke, which makes them want to smoke even more. Similarly, banning fast food chains will not stop people from buying or making these foods, they will find substitutes and consume them instead. In other words, if they cannot get their junk foods from a chain such as McDonalds, they will find another meal or pre-pared meal filled with oils, fats, preservatives and chemicals. Overall, if fast food chains are to be banned, it would just make consumers want it even more and there would be no differences because consumers will be continually trying to substitute in other fatty foods.

However, if fast food chains were to be banned, people would not have the chance to see advertisements or fast food restaurants, so they would not want it as much. In addition, people would learn not to eat fast food because it is not available to them and they would need to buy or cook their own food. This would be a healthier option because most fast foods contain high levels of sugar, fat, salt and preservatives, whereas home cooked meals would contain less sugars and fats and more nutrients and vitamins. For example, if you compare a Big Mac with homemade stir-fry, you can instantly see the difference. A Big Mac has two meat patties, mayonnaise, cheese and a couple of pieces of lettuce, but a stir-fry has a variety of vegetables, some meat and maybe some rice. Eventually, fast food will phase out and people will just learn to choose healthier options, but it may not be that easy or simple, it all starts with a good education on healthy and unhealthy foods.

To sum up, banning fast food chains will not necessarily reduce the obesity levels. There are other factors that contribute to obesity, such as the advancement of technology and little vigorous physical activity. There is not point enforcing a fast food ban when there are still supermarkets and milk bars that sell junk food, it is not as if the government can ban all stores of selling junk food, it would be too difficult, time consuming and money wasting. The money could go to more worthy causes such as education on this topic. Obesity levels probably will not change because people would still want their fatty foods and will try to substitute it with other junk foods. I believe that a ban on fast food chains such as McDonalds and KFC will not work, at the end of the day, it is the consumers’ choice to eat these types of foods.